If you’ve ever picked up a fashion magazine, taken a style quiz, or listened to any piece of clothing-related advice, you’re probably familiar with the “rules” of how to dress based on the shape of your body. From fruits, to shapes, to even silverware, there's long been the idea that everyone fits into a specific category with its own sets of rules to follow (think: Pears should wear high-waisted jeans, hourglasses should show off their curves, and apple shapes shouldn’t draw too much attention to the stomach). But what if you don’t prefer the clothes you’re “supposed” to wear, or your shape doesn’t match the ones provided? That's simple: Break the rules, because dressing for your body shape should never be an exact formula you feel like you have to follow. In fact, there are alternative tips you can use to confidently rock your desired aesthetic while showing off your best features. Ahead, we spoke to two stylists and a fashion psychologist about the body shape dressing myth and how to take a more modern, celebratory approach to your style.

What Is Body Shape Dressing?

Dressing for your body type is the idea of styling yourself by focusing on the proportions of your bust, waist, and hips, then using clothes to highlight or minimize these features. While body shape styling doesn’t give exact measurements, it does have generalized rules to determine your shape. For example, if your hips are wider than your bust, you’re a pear or triangle, and if your bust and hips are the same but your waist is smaller, you’re an hourglass.

The idea is that your body shape will give you a set of easy-to-follow style guidelines, but having a generalized set of sometimes-contradictory rules doesn’t take into account that all bodies are different. Body shape dressing does aim to recognize bodies at almost any size, but some people don't fit into any of those shapes or may fit multiple, plus bodies change over time.

Should You Dress for Your Body Type?

Personal stylist and sustainable fashion educator Lakyn Carlton says that despite the body shape dressing narratives out there, your sense of style doesn't need to be defined by your body type. She has been hearing about dressing for body shapes since an early age, but she doesn’t agree with these rules—or any rules when it comes to fashion. “It keeps us from shopping for our mind and our hearts. We’re more than our bodies,” she says. She believes that if we’re only shopping based on these rules, we're leaving our own desires and preferences out of it.

Fashion psychologist and author Dr. Dawnn Karen is also against styling for your body shape: “I am an advocate for people dressing for their psyche, not for their body,” she says. Karen, who coined the term “dopamine dressing”, believes that if you dress solely based on what would look good on your body (or worse, trying to cover up your body), you aren’t taking your feelings into consideration—which can damage your self-esteem, especially if you’re being told to wear something you hate simply because it's supposed to look good on you.

Stylist and creative consultant Carly Landig sees the value in certain body shape dressing principles, though she agrees that they shouldn't be the be-all, end-all. "As flawed as comparing our body shape to fruit might be, it does give you an idea of what pieces might suit you best," she says. The number of clothing options these days is overwhelming with the accelerated trend cycles and the new-ness nature of social media. Having general best practices can help guide us in the direction of our own self-exploration of what works best for ourselves."

If you do want to follow body shape dressing, it's okay to pick and choose which tips you find helpful—and ignore the ones that feel limiting. "I see body shape dressing as a starting point, not the destination," Landig tells us. "Each body is uniquely shaped and each person’s style point of view is expressed individually, yet we can pull from each to dress truly for ourselves and highlight [our favorite features]."

The Problems with Body Shape Dressing

Body dressing doesn’t take into account that trends change, and one shape's best solutions may "go out of style" in favor of another shape. One season you may have plenty of options, while the next season you may be stuck with nothing. Basically, knowing how to choose clothes that highlight your body in a way you like isn't a problem in theory, but the idea of hard-and-fast "rules" based on societal standards is. "Where the system is flawed is who is defining these beauty standards," Landig says. "Men, culture, retouched images, the bodies on campaigns that represent 0.001% of the population?"

All of this factors into why body dressing just doesn’t work, because we're not taking our own feelings, moods, and personal sense of style into account. You shouldn't waste your time, money, and happiness on clothing you don’t like solely because a guide told you it would look best—instead, bring the info you have together with your own preferences to find your ideal style. "Life is so fleeting; our style should be eternal," Carlton says.

Why Does the Body Dressing Myth Persist? 

Karen says that part of the reason people still follow body shape dressing is because of cognitive fatigue: "The reason why we stay stuck is that people do like to categorize things. It helps them create organization," she says. "If we have to make a slew of decisions throughout our day, it helps to have an easier decision-making process. You can get to the solution faster." If we shop by certain rules, we can easily grab what's "supposed" to look good on us, instead of endlessly trying pieces on and figuring out how to style them, both of which can be stressful.

Carlton also believes that this idea of limiting choices is a reason the myth has lasted so long. "We think, 'If I limit my choices, it'll actually make it easier to find things,'" she says. "But it actually makes it harder because if you don't like any of those choices, then you're forever unsatisfied."

How to Adapt Body Shape Dressing to Your Personal Style 

Since dressing solely based on your body type can be limiting and unfulfilling, Carlton recommends focusing on the garment itself rather than just our bodies. Landig and Karen concur, saying that an intentional approach focused on self-expression and confidence will help you to find your best style—read on for more in-depth tips.

Find Your Fashion Inspiration 

Carlton says that the first step to finding your style is deciding what you like. She suggests creating Pinterest boards, through which you may discover that you prefer a certain color palette, particular necklace styles, or a specific outfit combination. Then, the next step is experimenting with those looks and seeing how to bring them into your wardrobe. Don’t worry about the body types of the models wearing your preferred style—play around to see how you want to wear each piece.

Focus on Your Favorite Features

While it's only natural to want to dress in a way that makes us feel good in our bodies, you should take an approach that's more about emphasizing what you love about yourself than fitting to certain societal ideals or rules. "What I advise my clients on is highlighting your favorite assets," Landig tells us. "Or, if a client struggles with another part—no problem, we can distract from that. We innately know our bodies best and what we feel the best in, and we should listen to that regardless of the current trend or shape."

Dress for Your Mood 

In her book, Dress Your Best Life, Karen writes about a morning exercise to do before you get out of bed. She says to think about how you would like to express yourself that day, from the mood you want to be in to what look would increase your dopamine levels and allow you to face the world. From there, you can choose an outfit that boosts your confidence most effectively. Carlton also believes in dressing to express yourself: "I always say fashion is our first line of communication."

Adapt Trends to Your Body and Preferences

While some trends may be dominated by certain body types in the media, that doesn't mean you can't make any look you love work for you. "As a stylist, I am here for trends, so I would never exclude anyone from any trend based on body type," Landig says. "It is really about in what you feel most comfortable in."

In fact, if you feel like you can't pull off a certain look, it might have more to do with the styling or a lack of confidence than your actual body type. "The quickest way to ruin a look is not by disobeying body shape rules, but by tugging at that cropped shirt, crossing your arms or slouching with subtle insecurity, or fidgeting with those new low-slung jeans," Landig tells us. "Confidence is beauty."

Prioritize What You Love

Despite all our talk about moods and feelings, your body is still an integral part of personal style. But instead of styling yourself to hide or disguise your body, figure our how you want to show it off. Carlton often tells her clients, "For everything you want to hide or shrink, you need to give me something that you want to highlight."

Next time you look in the mirror, make note of the things you love about your body, and take that into account when you shop or plan outfits. And when in doubt, the only fashion rule you should follow is this: Wear what makes you feel good—inside and out.